That all illusive confidence, and why I don’t always have it
If you were looking for a confident person then you can call off the search - I'm right here!
I LOVE my life. I LOVE what I do. I genuinely feel thrilled that I get to teach Music at the start of the week, coach my confidence and business clients in the second half of the week, sing at gigs I like the look of, and have a way of working that affords me time and flexibility with my three children.
I am totally confident in my choices – I still have to regularly assess what confidence means to me, and if I’m on the right path for me and my family, but that comes from a place of excitement and love, not fear and negativity. I know when I work with my clients that I help them get to that point, it’s why I love my job and love working with amazing women. Confidence in all that – it’s there in abundance.
BUT. When I’m tired, I can feel frayed at the edges, raw, like a grazed knee that catches every time you bend it.
Sometimes I want to crawl back into bed and stay there (I mean obvs with the kids that ain’t happening any time soon but it’s a happy dream...)
I question my judgements, and things that I could otherwise do efficiently and with my usual positivity really start to seem like a struggle. When I'm knackered, when I’m busy in my coaching business, when I’m juggling A level and GCSE coursework and school concerts, at time like this, I find being really, really kind to myself helps.
Ways I’m kind to myself:
having my nails done;
wearing fabulous lipstick;
drinking double the amount of water I think I need;
having really good quality dark chocolate;
not beating myself for being less present on social media (this is the ultimate overwhelm for me when I'm tired);
trying to get in a "reverse" lie in i.e. going to bed really, really early;
communicating my tiredness to my husband so that if I'm a snappy madam he knows why!
Lots of physical contact - cuddles with the kids and husband;
I also love affirmations:
“today I am tired and I am extra kind to myself” and
“I am doing the best I can and that is enough” are two of my favourites.
And then there’s the big stuff. The “why are you doing that if it makes you feel rubbish?”, “why can’t you be the person who works flexibly?”. That stuff takes time. It’s not obvious. It’s work. But it’s so worth it.
What strategies do you use to combat these feelings? I'd love to read about them in the comments below.
With love,
Laura x
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