I really miss breastfeeding. I found it SO hard with my daughter. She couldn’t stay on the latch. It was a heatwave. We were a sweaty, angry, symbiotically linked pair, unable to stop but desperate to succeed. I couldn’t sit down without a “pile cushion” as my coccyx was so bent, but I couldn’t stand as I was bleeding and heavy and knackered.
We used nipple shields. We had a pretty, child-free breastfeeding consultant come round and suggest we waited for the “biological crawl” and that “maybe Dad could do something.” My husband, the most hands-on father in the world has yet to forgive her for that statement.
How did we find success with breastfeeding? As soon as we accepted we COULD stop, we allowed ourselves to take the pressure off. We all learnt. It got easier. And suddenly it was lovely.
I combi-fed my daughter from 8 weeks (she had one bottle of formula a day). There was no BIG DECISION - but we discussed it and decided it worked for us (I found expressing awful and didn’t want to carry on stressing in disabled toilets to get an ounce out in the break of a singing gig).
With my son I breastfed for longer.
I had imagined breastfeeding my third for at least a year, before my miscarriage at 10 weeks pregnant.
Whenever I see a breastfeeding woman now I have the muscle memory of the initial latch, the tingle, the squeeze, the flow, the sticky hands pulling my hair, gently pinching my skin, cuddling into the fold between my breasts.
I loved breastfeeding. But I hated it at first. I wonder how many women have felt unable to carry on after such a hard start?
.The holidays give you time to think, eh?
How was your breastfeeding experience? Did you? Didn’t you? Would you? .Do let me know in comments below if you'd like x