If not now, then when?

No, it’s not another #newyearnewyou blog, though since I’ve had children I can’t help but think about the New Year in the new way. I’ve always been delightfully obsessed with Christmas, but found New Year to be a bit of a damp squid, and (whispers this next statement), when NYE comes you’re more likely to find me tucked up in bed before midnight.

Not this year, however. This year the husband decided to buy each other a very fancy night out, featuring a tasting menu and champagne. Why? Because 2017 has been a hell of a year. Because 2017 has tested and thrilled us in equal measure. Because in 2017 I decided to really act on the words that keep rattling around in my head:

“if not now, then when?”

2017 was not a good time to start my own business - I already have two jobs that have been very dear to me (teaching and singing), and we’d bought a bigger house and needed to pay larger mortgage payments. Why therefore was I choosing to invest in myself and add to my knowledge and skills? Because if not now, then when?

Now as we enter 2018 the “3rd baby” question weighs heavy on my mind. We’d decided in 2017 that “if not now, then when” would be our approach, but after my miscarriage are finding it hard to imagine growing our family further (if we were lucky enough to conceive and keep a baby).

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So what if not now, then when things am I attempting to do?

 

  1. All those little, pesky, annoying jobs that would take 2 minutes to do. Why not just do them? After all INNTW?
  2. I’m rejoining my amateur orchestra. If I sign up I will find a way of going-if I don’t commit they’ll always be an excuse. Playing music with people of all different ages and stories is truly wonderful.
  3. I’m going to imagine myself as the brilliant businessperson I aspire to be. See her shining bright and become her. I already adore my clients and work so hard to make them realise their power; now it’s time to open use mine.
  4. I will take off my mascara before bed. I’m big enough to remember to do this, and always feel better when I do.
  5. I’m going to remember to treat my husband like the brilliant friend he is, trying always to treat him with respect and kindness, and not snapping at him like a miserable old shrew (though anything said in the night doesn’t count).
  6. I’m going to practice self-care. What does that mean for me? Moving more and being more disciplined with social media. If I add up the minutes I spend on it there are so many books I could have read, baths I could have enjoyed, friends I could have phoned.
  7. I’m going to PHONE MY FRIENDS, not just text them. Yep, that one freaks me out a bit too.
  8. Be. Kind. Always. There’s always room for kindness. In a world that seems even more grubby, even more stained with misogyny and injustice, even more “woefully misguided” as an old university professor used to say, there’s always time to be kind. After all, if not now, then when?
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What are your “if not now, then when” thoughts for 2018? Please do comment below and share this post x