To the lady with the perfect Instagram squares...I was jealous. Now I'm grateful.
Hello lovely lady,
Firstly, I hope that you know this blog post is written only with affection, admiration and #mumrespect (is that a #hashtag?! Nearly everything else is, surely?!) I am so tired of #mumwars (incidentally I can't believe that word was ever created by a woman) and you should know by now that #womenempoweringwomen is my ethos. But, I had to ask...
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
From looking at your squares, you seem to have beautiful hair every day that has its own natural bounce. You eat in an area where there are lots of unblemished white things. Your child always looks clean (my two always seem a bit grubby within 10 minutes of dressing). You have plush, fabric based things like ottomans upon which are some beautifully placed books about architecture: this was my children's approach to a similar concept...
I have always considered myself to be an organised person. I get the kids' stuff ready for pre-school the night before, I remember people's birthdays, I have more calendars on my iPhone than there are colours of the rainbow. And yet. There is the never-ceasing washing pile. The always bleeping plastic tat. The food leftovers (my two seem to delight in wasting food, and my youngest uses it as some sort of sensory Art Attack).
And then the photos themselves. I try my best to take lovely snaps, but I'm often the mum saying "oh, hold on wait, running out of memory. Hmmm...." Yet you lovely lady, you seem to always have with you some sort of uber-camera, to catch the most beautiful moments #nofilter but with the most glorious natural light. How do you remember to pack that with you on an impromptu trip to the park? I never forget the snacks (that happened once and that was THE DAY OF BAD THINGS), and usually remember the nappies, but even just taking my Digital SR thingummywotsit would make me panic, worrying that I'd leave it by a climbing frame while I tried to extricate my daughter from a typically dangerous position.
And, let's be honest here. You just look good. You don't look like the sort of lady who has any problems in just saying NO to eating the leftovers (I just hate waste), who actually is happy to avoid carbs so she can be a toned size 10, who loves running.
And I try and ignore that side of me. I try and use my hypnobirthing techniques, and all the mindset work I've done. I make my gratitude lists. I journal. But I'm still jealous.
Jealous of your apparent discipline and self-control. Jealous of your epic organisational skills. Jealous of your beautiful house (I'm guessing you always tidy up in the evening, and even during the day?!)
And then I get cross with myself. Because who exactly is stopping me being like you? Why can't I allow myself to have the self-discipline to say no to things that don't make me feel good? To just get off my arse and tidy every single day (because I hate a messy house, it makes me feel antsy and fidgety).
And so, I am grateful. I am grateful that I've found you on Instagram, because you've reminded me that:
I don't need to compromise on myself - if I've got time to scroll through your Instagram squares I've got time to take care of myself.
You've reminded me that I'm an awesome mother, because my squares might be more grainy and less white, but there's an equal number of smiles in and giggles!
You've reminded me of how I good I feel when everything is that little bit better fitting, when I'm more active, when I have greater clarity and less muddiness.
Your squares have reminded me of all the affirmations I say to the mums I work with. So I've included some here, but amended them a little to suit my own circumstances!
Everything you need you already have (but you could have a little less of the stuffing yourself full, then your clothes would fit better)
I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness (and to always tidy before bed, because it will make me happier)
I fill my mind and body with good things (including making the time to read)
I deserve the very best of things
I am enough
bring it on
And so, I guess I've realised how you do it. You just do it. You've got choices and you're using them wisely. Because you're amazing. And so am I. We're powerful, beautiful women. We've got the Power of Mum.
You’ve got choices too, lovely lady. Pregnant and wondering about how to feel powerful and amazing in birth? Book in a call with me and let’s chat about your options xx